This might be the most confusing question in pain recovery. Rest too much and you feel worse. Push too hard and you feel worse. So what are you supposed to do?
Here's what makes this question so tricky: we're usually thinking about it the wrong way.
It's not really about "move or don't move." It's about finding balance across everything you do — physical activity, mental load, social engagement, emotion, and yes, genuine recuperation.
Why Complete Avoidance Backfires
When you're in pain, withdrawing seems safest. You reduce physical activity. You avoid social situations. You stop doing things that matter to you.
But here's what happens:
- Your body becomes more cautious about movement
- Your world contracts around pain
- The things that used to give you energy or meaning disappear
- The fear of pain grows stronger than the pain itself
Avoidance can feel protective, but it often makes the problem bigger.
Why Pushing Through Everything Backfires Too
Maybe you've tried the opposite: gritting your teeth, doing everything despite the pain, never allowing yourself to rest.
But this rarely works either:
- You crash hard after good days (boom-bust cycle)
- You stay braced and on-guard
- Rest starts to feel like failure
- You burn out
What Actually Helps?
The answer isn't choosing between activity and rest. It's about finding sustainable balance across all the things you do.
Activity isn't just physical movement. It includes:
- Mental effort (problem-solving, planning, concentrating)
- Social engagement (even positive interactions take energy)
- Emotional experiences (joy, stress, excitement, worry)
- Physical tasks (sitting, walking, daily activities)
Rest isn't doing nothing. It includes active strategies like:
- Warm baths, gentle stretching, lying down
- Reading, listening to music, mind wandering
- Meditation, breathing practices
- Anything that helps you feel restored
In our culture, rest often gets treated as laziness or giving in. But recuperation is essential — not optional. You need both engagement and restoration.
What This Looks Like in Practice
Instead of boom-bust (do everything → crash → avoid everything → repeat), you build consistency:
- Do roughly similar amounts each day, respecting pain levels
- Include activities that matter to you AND activities that restore you
- Gradually build what you can manage over time
- Notice patterns: What depletes you? What helps you recover?
If sitting is difficult: try shorter sits with support, building gradually as it feels manageable.
If social situations exhaust you: start with brief, meaningful connections rather than avoiding completely or forcing through big events.
If thinking/planning drains you: break tasks into smaller chunks with rest between.
The goal isn't perfection. It's finding a rhythm that's sustainable for you.
Want the Full Framework?
If you're struggling with the boom-bust cycle and want help finding sustainable balance, get in touch to explore how we can work together on your recovery.
Part of our Pain Recovery Starter Series — helping you make sense of pain and rebuild confidence, one step at a time.